From the kquote>The details of how Britain's three main political parties managed to spend nearly £40m to woo voters at the last general election was disclosed in full for the first time yesterday by the Electoral Commission.

Those people who support public funding of political parties are presumably of the opinion that it is fine to spend taxpayers' money on bad haircuts and make up (and that's just for the men), as well as Star Trek outfits and animal costumes. It has set me wondering, though, if I can claim for my make-up as a business expense - since looking professional is obviously vital in creating a rapport with my patients.

More importantly, Alastair Campbell was paid £10,000 per month for his services as a consultant. Taking that as 20 working days, 8 hours per day, that means that I can buy him for £62.50 an hour. Call it £100 for a couple of extras, and that is what I call a bloody good bargain.

Now where is Little 'Un's piggy bank......